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The consensual agreement is one of the most important aspects of a D/s relationship. Lack of consent is extremely dangerous, both psychologically and lawfully, it also promotes the viewpoint that D/s and BDSM are cruel and degenerate practices. If you want to participate do so responsibly lest you make a mockery of the lifestyle and a mess of your personal life.

There is a blurry area within the scope of legality for D/s and BDSM, there are no specific laws that safeguard such lifestyle practices and generally even consensual agreements can be seen as invalid in court. Therefore always exercise caution, just because you and your partner are in agreement does not mean that the rest of the world accepts or even understands your lifestyle choice.-Maîtresse Mad

The only binding elements in a Master-slave contract are the sincerity, understanding, and the personal commitment of both parties.-Ambrosio

A consensual agreement outlines the expectations, limits, and terms of the D/s relationship. In simple terms it is a contract between the Dominant and the submissive that clearly defines the relationship. This includes considerations of:

  • Frequency (how often D/s will be practiced)
  • Rules ( for both the Dominant and the submissive)
  • Limits (Bondage, Control, Pain, Humiliation, Sex)
  • Assigning a safe word and outlining how long the D/s activity will be paused or if it will be stopped completely.
  • Length of D/s relationship.
  • Names or titles used in the context of the D/s practice.

There are several websites that have examples of Consensual Agreements/ Contracts, I have read through several of them and they all include the above elements. You may find it useful to visit the included links to find one that is right for you. I have created my own basic Consensual Agreement and included it as well. It is extremely important that a Consensual Agreement be discussed and decided upon before you enter into any D/s relationship or scene play, if you skip this step and realize that your needs are not being met and your limits are not being respected you have no one to blame but yourself.

* A note to both Dominant and submissive: Always keep a personal copy of the Consensual Agreement in writing, that means that both you and your D/s partner should have a copy of the agreement that is signed by both of you. Do not be naïve, even with the best of intentions things can go wrong, misunderstandings will and do happen, keep your paperwork safe and sorted in case of such an event.

Consensual Agreement Links and Resources

For submissives:

For “slaves“:

For Play Scenes:

Consensual Agreement for Play Scenes (Long Form)

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