The Process of Submission
Submission is a gift given from one individual to another. The individual who chooses to relinquish control to another, chooses to do so. Giving control to another does not make that person less equal, in fact it shows a strength of character, a certain knowledge of oneself to relinquish control… submission is the ultimate act of trust because it is given freely, not taken against the will. For this simple reason submission stands as a separate beautiful offering, far different from that of enslavement, because submission at its basest form is trust both of oneself and of the person to whom control is given.
My own personal definition of submission, that which I use to define my relationship with any submissive I have ever taken for myself is as follows.
You are for my pleasure, solely. You will take pleasure in providing me with what I desire, when I desire it, and how I desire it. You will at all times be pleasing, and if you are not you will gracefully accept whatever form of discipline I see fit.
You have chosen to give yourself to me: mind, body, and soul. I accept responsibility for your wellbeing and am grateful for the opportunity to teach you and lead you in becoming a better person, both for my own pleasure and ultimately for yours. I do not see you as below me, I see you as my most precious treasure, I will guard you, love you, protect you, as if you were my own flesh because in my ownership of you, you become me – an extension of my desires, ideals, fantasies, goals, morals, and discipline.
I will not accept any distinction between my ownership of you and your ownership of yourself. This includes “ideas” about privacy, freedom of time, freedom of your sexuality. You submit those aspects of yourself and your freedom to me, if you wish to be mine then you will be mine completely. Do not mistakenly associate this with enslavement, it is not… I cannot and will not dedicate my time and patience to someone who maintains emotional independence from me. That kind of guarded emotional behavior has no place in submission, when you are mine you belong to me. This is the hardest element of submission to truly master, particularly for the submissive, giving control to someone means removing the boundaries that are in place to protect “you” from “them”. Submission is truly letting go of this “you” and embracing the loss of identity that occurs when one person owns another, trusting that the one you allow to control will cherish you. Submission is service to another with no regard to yourself, submission is learning how to enjoy selflessness, complete and utter devotion to another human being, devotion that means abandoning your own needs in favor of theirs as long as it is no threat to your mental or physical health or well-being.
This is how I define submission, this is why I do not believe in “breaking” my submissive… a broken gift is not a gift at all.